“This could go very, very wrong.”
“They might hate me for this.”
“This new, uncharted creative project might flop.”
“This investment is risky—it could fail.”
Recognize these fearful, anxious thoughts?
On the one hand, it’s good to be prepared and plan for what life might throw at us. Smart, right?
But what happens when we habitually lock onto those fearful stories about what could happen? In…
We all know how to live a healthy life, right?
We’re smart. We’re savvy. We’ve done our research. We know how to craft the perfect self-care plan (food, sleep, movement, meditation, and so on) to address our genetic legacy, our problems, and our many sensibilities about how we’d like to feel and function at our best.
But many of us just can’t make our best plans work. We can’t sustain…
You’ve heard me say it a thousand times: We’ve got to create space for healing to occur.
No matter what ails us, we go no where without focused attention to our problem and freedom from the toxins, irritants, and negative energy that get in our way.
An easy start is removing the clutter from our living spaces.
“Does it spark joy?”
You’ve heard those words, right?
The stuff whisperer, Marie…
I like simple. And focused. It’s easy on my brain. And helps me grasp pieces of more complicated conceptual problems and ideas—like me and what I need to do to heal.
Give me three simple steps and I’m all over it.
But do I fool myself into thinking anything is that simple? Ever?
Those three simple steps get me started. It’s what I can focus on today. But we all know, with our mature minds,…
Yikes.
Slow can feel dangerous.
I’ll give you a hint:
When we go slow we feel. When we feel we hurt. When we hurt we may not know what to do.
So instead we go fast. Bypassing the hurt. Staying busy, achieving, climbing the ladder, collecting evidence of our worthiness, numbing what we don’t want to feel.
But here’s the rub:
No pain, no joy. We have to go slow to feel. And we have to feel to…
We just can’t help ourselves, can we?
We know we’re here for a purpose. We feel the fire in our bellies. We want better, more meaningful, more connected lives. We want to be our best and do our best in the world.
So in this cool, dark, quiet space of winter, standing at the precipice (and promise) of a new year, we take pause. We take stock. We consider our dreams. What can we do to make them…
One of the dangers of suffering is what happens when we distance ourselves from how we feel—when we numb the pain.
And it makes sense that we do this, right? We want to feel better. We need to feel better. We do whatever we can. What we know.
But with persistent suffering—the kind that comes with chronic pain, illness, depression, or trauma—(before we discover—and address—the root…
The secret to a happy life you ask?
Ah, yes, I have one of the answers.
Whistle.
Seriously. Whistle!
I come from a family of beautiful whistlers—my mom (a song bird!), her dad, me, and my oldest son. My mom taught me to whistle when I was a wee girl and I remember the immense pride I felt when I finally got it! And I’ve been whistling pretty much non-stop every since (apologies to my…
“You will get better.”
Said my new rehab doctor after our first visit, utterly stunning me.
I had yet to hear any such words during my multi-year saga of pain and dysfunction. No one—not one—of the perhaps dozen professionals I had sought help from in the past years had given me any scrap of hope that I might recover.
It’s a long story, but suffice it to say, I had one complicated injury…
Ever feel stuck? Can’t quite get the project started, or that great idea to emerge? Me too.
Here’s what I do: clean a drawer.
“Is she nuts,” you ask? (Well, yah, but that’s beside the point…)
That’s right, if you need that idea to pop, try cleaning something. De-clutter.
I choose drawers because they’re small, doable in a short period of time, and because, well, I’ve got a lot of “black…
Are you like me—always behind, never quite there? Deadlines looming. Elated to make them (when I do). But feeling constantly pressured, and time-deficient?
Hmmm… Pondering this a lot lately. Because, you know, it gets overwhelming.
Realization: I’m in charge. I’m my own boss. I set all my own deadlines.
First thought about that: how lucky I am!
Next thought: why do I do that to myself? The only…
We all know how hard it is to get our New Year’s resolutions off the ground. Or harder still—sustain them for the long haul.
Why is that? Why is it so dang hard to create positive change in our lives? Change that we want? Change that we know will lead to better lives?
Maybe we start too big. We’re better at small changes—even the small things lead to big shifts in our lives.
Or maybe our…
You know how those little things others do for us can pack the biggest punch? And that no matter how practiced we are or sophisticated we seem to others looking in from the outside, we still need the gentle, loving reminders?
That’s what my massage therapist did for me a several years ago.
She massaged me during a time of great trauma and turmoil… too many details to share or even remember,…
Focus has been a lifelong challenge for me. I frankly don’t remember studying in elementary or high school. How’d I get away with that?
I remember being antsy and impatient with reading and problem solving. What was that “x” they were talking about in algebra?!
Partly I didn’t have the tools to organize myself and get down to business (I’d never learned how). But I also had a special…
Dear One,
Were we born this way?
Or are we just the unfortunate few (because, you know, look at all those perfectly happy people all around us, who smile at one another, who always sit together, who clearly have lifetime passes to their special tribes—the ones we don’t belong to)?
Searching (and hustling) for worthiness—for how to fit in and where we belong?
If we’d only lucked into the…
Dear One,
Oh my God, I’m so impatient! Can you relate?
I’m not gunna lie, I want it now. I want to see the results. Now. I want to feel the transformation. Now.
I want to get there fast. And I want the world to keep up with my brain and my intentions.
About ten years ago I received two speeding tickets in rapid succession within a mile from my home. Within a mile!
One was on my way to work. My…
You’ve heard it a million times. Why? Because it is vital:
“In the event of cabin decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your…
Our efforts at self-care can make us freaks! There may be a sea change of healthy lifestyle enthusiasm out there but our worlds are still filled with people who aren’t there yet. How do we manage the awkward silences or overt criticism that can come from the people in our lives–including trusted family and friends–when we tell them about our meditation practices, healthy eating, or militant…
Sue had almost given up. Her symptoms began abruptly one summer after returning home from a camping trip with her family. It started with vertigo that became so severe she couldn’t turn her head while lying in bed. She developed pain, numbness, and tingling all over her body. She felt like she was trembling from the inside, but no one could see this. She had headaches, muscle…
I find the holidays to be curiously stressful. There have been many past holiday seasons when I have struggled with sluggishness, irritability, and resistance to the challenges and expectations that seem to be part of it all.
And yet our winter holidays are a time of celebration in the many ways of our diverse traditions–light within the darkness, family, sharing, and coming together. The new…