Dear One,
“You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
—Mary Oliver, The Wild Geese
Who among us hasn’t worried about being good enough? Guilty of being ourselves? Shameful for having our own minds, hearts, and ideas about what’s true?
I’ve spent a…
We all need to revive the fire in our bellies from time to time. I love the way inspiring words and acts of others drop into my life to do just that.
Let this one wash over you:
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a…
Not my words. These are the words of Stephen Cobert, host of The Late Show and creator of the iconic Stephen Cobert Show.
He was asked the question, “what do you do to stay hopeful?”
His reply was:
Despair is just hubris.
Because you think you know what’s going to happen.
As Gandalf says, “Not even the wise know all ends.”
I haven’t been able to get these words out of…
Healing gets tricky.
Because our minds are tricky. You know, how they serve both survival and wisdom?
How they see just enough of a situation to instantaneously conjure the worst-case-scenario? Or lure us into seeing just what we want and expect to see?
While, at other times, amazing us with mind-blowing assessments of the deeper truth of things.
All in one mind!
And that’s what makes healing…
Do you ever think about how it’s possible to dare to hope and believe in a better future AND stay honest about your feelings as they are right now (which may be a soup of misery!)?
It’s a paradox!
On the one hand, we want to hold onto faith that our possibilities are endless, and our potential infinite. We want to drive that faith with the kinetic energy of hope. To make things better.
But we…
I try hard to not look at email or social media posts, or chase those tantalizing notifications that pop up on my phone while I’m working.
Today, however, one snagged me.
I couldn’t help myself. I saw a hint of what was to come: world-class figure skaters—performing to “The Sound of Silence.” “Haunting,” it said. Yes!
And hooked.
Okay, just one teeny tiny second. Then right back to work!
My…
Focus has been a lifelong challenge for me. I frankly don’t remember studying in elementary or high school. How’d I get away with that?
I remember being antsy and impatient with reading and problem solving. What was that “x” they were talking about in algebra?!
Partly I didn’t have the tools to organize myself and get down to business (I’d never learned how). But I also had a special…
Dear One,
Oh my God, I’m so impatient! Can you relate?
I’m not gunna lie, I want it now. I want to see the results. Now. I want to feel the transformation. Now.
I want to get there fast. And I want the world to keep up with my brain and my intentions.
About ten years ago I received two speeding tickets in rapid succession within a mile from my home. Within a mile!
One was on my way to work. My…
Jealous–we ALL know the sting of it and have been smacked down by the shame of it, but it’s really a normal part of being humans who thrive on connection. In this article I demystify jealousy, look at it’s purposeful role in our lives (yep, you heard me right), and remove the burden of shame and indignity that always seems to go with it.
Two recent conversations…
“If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans.” -ubiquitous quote (with humbling accuracy)
I morph into someone unrecognizable–a muddled mess of worry and anxiety–when packing for travel. My hard won calm and cool utterly abandons me, my body taken over by a strange frantic girl, who shoves me out of the way to oversee…
Carol and I were comfortably seated across from one another in my consultation room when I asked, as I do with all my new patients, what her goals were for our work together. She said without missing a beat, “I want to get my life back. I’ve been sick for thirty-three years. That’s half my life. I would like to be a well person and do what…
For me, forgiveness has been one of those life lessons–and practices–that has had mind-bending and life altering payoffs. I’ve learned the hard way that holding onto past hurts and trauma consumes precious energy and mind power.
Clinging to anger and resentment is an energy suck that drives stress—the smoldering kind of stress that hangs on and leaves decay and destruction in its path. That…
“What nine months of attention does for an embryo, forty early mornings will do for your gradually growing wholeness.” …
Yes, we’re all nervous about change. Our trepidation about flowing with our lives, rather than keeping things the same, is based not only on the uncertainty of the outcome…
“The suspense is killing me.”
“I’m absolutely certain…”
“Because that’s how it’s always been.”
These words roll right off our tongues–unconsciously–because we’re wired and trained to resist uncertainty. Honestly, very little unsettles me more. I’m a bit squeamish about not knowing what happens next.
But we can go to extremes to “know for sure:”
Clutter makes me absolutely crazy.
My kids tell me I have OCD. The way I am constantly picking things up, sometimes losing their precious stuff (so why didn’t they just put it away themselves!?).
I find that my organizational frenzies calm my mind. The more clutter in my brain, the more peace I feel when I create harmony in my environment. Sure, it’s my sense of harmony, but that’s what…
I’ll give you a hint: it’s about letting go.
What? But, wait, doesn’t mind power require focused genius and amazing effort? You mean we can stop pushing, caffeinating, and ripping through life?
Here are some powerful, and perhaps unexpected, ways to become smarter, clearer, more creative and innovative, and–who knows?–more successful and happy while we’re at it. Science of the mind is showing…
We’re obsessed with our modern technological world. And what’s not to love? I mean, what did we do before Google and Amazon? Or cell phones, texting, and desktop publishing? These are incredible tools that I LOVE, that bring me knowledge, convenience, and joyful expansion of what is possible. But there’s another dimension of our tech-y world that I…
Making lifestyle changes–like how we eat or sleep–can seem daunting. But it’s doable when we get organized around it…and learn to deal with deprivation.
What do we do with the deep feelings of attachment we experience about the habits we love–the food, staying up late, the extra glass of wine–and the grief and and loss that hits us when we try to create…
#1: There really are no rules.
#2: This is all just about getting quiet, turning down the noise of our lives.
#3: And not judging or being judged.
#4: It’s about…